One of the (many) things nobody told me before I became a parent was that one of the joys of parenthood is getting to experience your own childhood all over again, or more accurately, getting to experience all of your childhood illnesses over (and over) again. In the past 17 months I have had innumerable colds, two ear infections, two or three sore throats and the stomach flu. I feel younger already.

Now I can check yet another childhood illness off my list; I have pinkeye. Oh, lucky me!! I look like I spent all night crying over a bad breakup. Or at least my right eye does. My left eye is just fine. It obviously knows that he was a no-good loser and I’m better off without him.

On the up side, I’ve so far managed to avoid both colic and diaper rash. And I’m fairly certain that I’m done teething, too.

I guess I’ll just go and replace my mascara now…